John Oliver Went All Out Trashing ‘Donald Drumpf’ on HBO’s ‘Last Week Tonight’
Celebrity| | By Margo Gothelf
“At this point, Donald Trump is America’s back mole: it may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s gotten frighteningly bigger, it is no longer wise to ignore it,” shared Oliver. And that was only the beginning. Oliver continued to slam Trump for his claims to Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren of being “self-funded” and that he probably only contributed “twenty, twenty-five million dollars” to his own campaign. “While it is true that he hasn’t taken corporate money, the implication that he has personally spent $20-25 million is a bit of a stretch, because what he’s actually done is loaned his own campaign $17.5 million, and has personally given just $250,000,” explained Oliver. “And that’s important because up until the convention, he can pay himself back for the loan with campaign funds.” Oliver also slammed the GOP frontrunner for the claim that Trump is “tough.” “Well again, I’m not sure about that, because for a tough guy he has incredibly thin skin,” said Oliver. It only got deeper from there. Oliver spoke about how in 1988 the magazine Spy named Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian.” “The very fact that he’s so sensitive about [his fingers] is absolutely hilarious, as is the fact that those notes were apparently written in Gold Sharpie, which is so quintessentially Donald Trump: Something that gives the passing appearance of wealth, but is really just a cheap tool,” teased Oliver. Oliver also dug up some of Trump’s failed business ventures. “Over the years, his name has been on some things that have arguably been very un-good, including Trump Shuttle, which no longer exists; Trump Vodka, which was discontinued; Trump magazine, which folded; Trump World magazine, which also folded; Trump University, over which he’s being sued; and of course, the travel-booking site GoTrump.com, whose brief existence was, I imagine, a real thorn in the side of anyone hoping GotRump.com featured a single thing worth masturbating to,” Oliver said. And it didn’t stop there. Oliver then brought up the fact that Trump’s name serves as more of a brand and how at one point his name was changed from Drumpf to Trump. “Drumpf is much less magical. It’s the sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy. Drumpf. It’s the sound of a bottle of store-brand root beer falling off the shelf in a gas station minimart. And it may seem weird to bring up his ancestral name, but to quote Donald Trump, he “should be proud of his heritage”—back to that Stewart tweet—because Drumpf is much more reflective of who he actually is.” The little Drumpf rant sparked the hashtag, #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain, and a website, DonaldJDrumpf.com, where anyone can download an extension on any browser to replace Trump’s name with Drumpf. “We cannot keep getting blinded by the magic of his name,” Oliver said. “So please, don’t think of him as Donald Trump. Think of him as something else.” Check out the full 20-minute roast below!