Comedienne Beth Stelling Opens Up About Abusive Relationship on Instagram

By Margo Gothelf 4 min read

Source: IMEH AKPANUDOSEN VIA GETTY IMAGES

Comedienne Beth Stelling posted a startling and personal photo on Instagram Monday revealing details about an abusive relationship she ended this past summer in an effort to help the performer cope with the repercussions.

The post includes four photos: three of them show Stelling’s bruised legs and arms. The fourth photo shows her performing onstage, smiling like nothing is wrong.

“Same girl in all of these photos (me),” Stelling captioned the image. “I’ve had an amazing year and you’ve seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue.”

Same girl in all of these photos (me). I’ve had an amazing year and you’ve seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional. When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it’s not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn’t seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple. After I broke up with him he said, “You’re very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you’re talking about.” And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn’t want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It’s how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I’ve always been; I make dark, funny. So now I’m allowing this to be part of my story. It’s not my only story, so please don’t let it be. If you live in L.A., you’ve already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I’m trying. Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity. An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that..

A photo posted by Beth Stelling (@bethstelling) on Dec 28, 2015 at 9:30am PST

Stelling has seen a rise in her comedy career this year with a Half Hour Special on Comedy Central and an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. This is the first time Stelling has been outspoken about the abusive relationship she was in over the summer.

“When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because of this,” she wrote. “It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.”

Stelling explained that she is now sharing her experience with the public because she simply could not keep it to herself any longer.

“I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It’s how I make my living. My personal is my professional… Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.”

Since sharing the post, Stelling has received an outpouring of support, especially from the comedic community.

Respect to @bethstelling
RT:
Same girl in all of these photos (me). I've had an amazing year and… https://t.co/ByPj74xJY2

— ?st (@questlove) December 28, 2015

Mine, too. Please read this. @BethStelling rules at comedy, humanity & courage.

Also GODDAMIT. https://t.co/uosgrPZ9xD

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 28, 2015