Goat Caught in Telephone Wires Among Great Mysteries of Our Time

Rescue crews around the globe have plenty of experience saving both man and beast from precarious and sometimes embarrassing situations, but this call must be a new one for even the most experienced crews.

A live goat was found hanging by its horns from telephone wires about 20 feet above a Greek road. I promise, this is not the beginning to a joke.

Rescuers who arrived on the scene were baffled both by how the goat got up there to begin with as well as how to bring the poor airborne creature down. The crew initially tried to climb up to the goat, but were unable to balance their ladder or get a steady hold of the animal.

The brave and befuddled men eventually pushed the goat toward a steep rock face using their ladder. One of the rescuers climbed up the hill, close enough to tie a rope around the goat’s leg.

Once the crew was able to pull the goat toward safer ground, they were finally able to untangle his horns from the wire. The goat, free from constraints but not humiliation, quickly scurried down the hill and over the road, with not so much as a thankful lick or a “baaaaaaah” toward the heroes who saved his life.

But we can’t judge the goat too harshly. Whom among us has not been caught in a compromising situation, counting on both the kindness and discretion of strangers to bail us out? Who reading this hasn’t had a little too much to drink and woken up 20 feet above a road, tangled up in telephone wires, thinking that the only thing worse than a slow and lonely death will be the uncountable amount of “hang in there” and “hold the phone” puns that await him?

In a way, this goat is all of us. In another way, this goat is better than all of us. Our fellow humans have travelled to the Moon, invented the Internet, and cured diseases and most of us can’t even stop ourselves from drunk dialing an ex and falling off of a bar stool. At least this goat reached for the stars, so even if he fell, he’d land on some telephone wire.

But the big mystery remains: How did he get up there? The rescue crew never got an answer. Maybe because the goat was shy and ran away before answering questions. Maybe because he’s a goat and can’t speak. We’ll never know.