Packers Fans Demand Aaron Rodgers Dumps Olivia Munn After Third Straight Loss
Helen of Troy. Lady Macbeth. Yoko Ono. History is filled with stories of women who have gotten a bad rap for the stupid mistakes that their men supposedly made because of them (except Yoko Ono, she deserves every single bit of blame she gets for what she did to the Beatles). Could actress Olivia Munn be next?
The Green Bay Packers were stunned Sunday when they lost to the abysmal 2-7 Detroit Lions, losing first place in the NFC North. Sunday’s loss was Green Bay’s third in a row after starting the season with a 6-0 record. With the team suddenly and inexplicably in a tailspin, some faithful cheeseheads have decided that star quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ girlfriend Olivia Munn is behind the Packers’ fall from grace. Well, Olivia Munn and the wrath of a vengeful God:
A commenter on the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel believes that noted she-devil seductress Munn’s insatiable and hedonistic desire for quarterback coitus has sapped Rodgers of both his football ability and the grace of the Almighty. The commenter stated that Rodgers has not been a good quarterback ever since Munn discussed her and Rodgers’ sex life in a TV interview. Sure, that interview took place in December of 2014 and Rodgers went on to win the NFL MVP award and lead his team to within a game of the Super Bowl last season, but facts are for fair-weather fans.
As off the wall as this comment is, that didn’t stop many more fans from taking to Twitter and voicing similar sentiments:
I am going to start a “Break up Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn” GoFundMe campaign. Enough is enough. #Packers
— Rico Swab (@ricoswab) November 15, 2015
God has taken his hand of blessing off the Packers cuz Olivia Munn talked about her and Aaron Rodgers' sex life. Would bench Rodgers too
— JKuhn (@h8rproof82) November 17, 2015
The recent uproar about Munn and Rodgers’ relationship was partially fueled by Munn being spotted at Lambeau Field during the loss, but quite frankly, the biggest driving force behind this speculation seems to be stupidity.
In Munn’s now infamous interview, she clearly stated that she and Rodgers’ don’t engage in any—ahem—“touchdowns” on or right before game day. As for God punishing Rodgers for his lack of moral scruples, the Almighty doesn’t seem to be rewarding Russell Wilson and his 4-5 Seattle Seahawks for not having pre-marital sex with his girlfriend Ciara. And God’s biggest fan, Tim Tebow, can’t even find a backup quarterback job in the NFL. Fans can chalk this up to the heavenly father’s mysterious playbook, or maybe he just doesn’t care as much about football as we like to think.
Of course, there are some other supernatural theories about the Packers’ sudden power outage. Fans were quick to point out that the team started losing right after a McDonald’s commercial that featured Chicago Bears legend Mike Ditka in a Packers sweater first aired. Ditka definitively stated in an ESPN interview that he didn’t jinx the Packers, but then again, would he admit it if he did?
Listen guys, am I bummed out that Aaron Rodgers gets to date Olivia Munn while I sit at my computer reporting stories about how much they score with each other? Of course I am. But I’m also bummed that Rodgers has a Super Bowl ring, two MVPs, and gets paid millions of dollars to play football every week. That doesn’t mean that I hope his girlfriend dumps him. Plus, the Packers are still only one win out of first place. Maybe we should see how next week plays out before we tie Munn to the stake.
You can check out the 2014 Munn interview that has allegedly jinxed Rodgers here: